I’ve found that there are two types of people on social media; those who try to present their lives as better than they are, and people who try to present their lives as worse than they are. I think most people fall into the first category (although I may feel that way because I block people who fall into the second category). The point is that although I try not to be obnoxious about it, I certainly do fall into the first category. Life is going great for me right now, and I present it as such on social media, but it’s certainly not perfect. Take an interaction I had with my fiancé this afternoon:
We’ve been living together for several months now, but I still haven’t fully moved in because a friend is renting my house so there wasn’t a big rush for me to move my crap out. Last weekend we finally rented a truck and brought the furniture down. This weekend he stayed home and worked on clearing room in the common areas for my stuff while I went up to my old house to clean up and clear out the “little things” (odds and ends that hadn’t been boxed up yet, but filled up my car two times over).
Out entire house has been overrun with random boxes, bins, and bags of my stuff. There is literally no place to sit except for an office chair in my room and an office chair in his room, which means we have no place to just hang out together. This is what happens when you try and combine two fully furnished houses in to one. Needless to say, getting my room in order is a priority for me, and I’ve been a little stressed out about it.
So The Man, sees me being stressed out and, being the sweet guy that he is, thinks, “She’s super stressed out. I’ll help her by going to the grocery store, which is a chore I know she’s not particularly fond of.” So what he meant to say was, “I will go to the grocery store. Is there anything you need?”
But that’s not what he said. Instead he said, “Why don’t you sit down and make a list and then I’ll go to the grocery store?”
And this is how my sleep-deprived, exhausted, malnourished brain reacted: “Are you freaking kidding me?! He expects me to sit down and plan our meals for the week and make a shopping list? Does he realize how much effort goes in to that? I have spent the past two days loading and unloading my car and running up and down the stairs probably 100 times! There is crap all over our whole house that I have to get to fit in a small guest room while still making it look like a frickin Pinterest masterpiece, and he wants me to think about what food we’ll need this week?! When am I going to have time to cook? He’s going to have to do all the cooking this week because I’ll be spending it cleaning, and if he’s doing all the cooking then why doesn’t he make the list? I wonder what would happen if I hurled this screwdriver at his skull…”
So I snapped at him. I didn’t say everything that had gone through my head in that split-second, but I wasn’t particularly pleasant. Luckily he knows that I tend to be irrational when I’m stressed, and I am self-aware enough to know that as well, so I apologized pretty quickly. A few minutes later when he said he could get ingredients to make ice cream using the ice cream maker his mother got me for my birthday (Yes, I enjoy making ice cream, but you do know how much work goes into making it? It takes like half an hour to make the batter and then it has to chill for a couple hours, not to mention the amount of dishes that are used, and our kitchen is a mess right now so where am I going to do the prep work? I’ve got lesson plans to write, an IEP to revise and the house looks like a tornado swept through!) I reacted slightly more rationally and told him that just buying ready-made ice cream would be better.
He came back with S’mores ice cream and a bag of my favorite sweet potato chips (which I have eaten the whole thing of while typing this). So in 140 characters on Twitter I might say “My guy got me S’mores ice cream and sweet potato chips! #bestfianceever!”, but just know that we’re still learning to live with each other, and it’s not perfect all the time. But we’re figuring it out!