Why my dog isn’t invited to my wedding

I love my dog more than my fiancé.

This [totally true] joke has been made ever since we started dating. To say I’m obsessed with my dog might be a bit of an understatement. I definitely have more pictures of him on my phone than anyone/anything else. The only reason I have Snapchat is to send pictures of him to my sister. One year for my birthday, my family had a portrait of him commissioned (the cost was a donation to the local animal shelter…we’re not completely insane), and I had a bobble head of him made (ok, so maybe I am that insane). So it comes as a shock to most people that the dog is not invited to the wedding.

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What do you mean I’m not invited?!

 

I definitely have a necktie for him, which he looks ADORABLE in, and I ogle the puppy ring bearer outfits at Petco. I’ve seen plenty of pictures and videos of dogs involved in weddings, and they are just precious and for a second I think that maybe he should come, but then I remember the 4 very valid reasons I have for not wanting him there:

 

1) He’s not allowed.

This one’s pretty straightforward. Our venue doesn’t allow dogs (other than service animals of course) in the building. We could’ve found a venue that did allow him, but we didn’t, so there. But even if our venue did allow dogs, I’ve still got other reasons.

 

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How can you not let this face into your building?

2) I don’t want to worry about him on my big day.

My dog likes people. There will be a lot of people at my wedding. Not all people like dogs. My dog also likes to jump on people. Fancy dresses, bare legs, suits and a jumping dog don’t sound like a good mix. My dog also sheds his blonde hair all over dark clothes.

Of course he is also way more popular than either my fiancé or myself so plenty of friends have said that they would volunteer to be his wrangler for the evening. As much as I don’t want to be worrying about him, I don’t want my guests to worry about him. Everyone should be able to relax and have a good time. Also, I don’t want to be competing for attention with my dog on my wedding day!

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He can get very energetic when he’s excited!

 

3) I don’t want him in my pictures.

This may sound weird coming from someone who has thousands of pictures of her dog, but let me explain. I take tons of pictures of him every day, and I enjoy them for a while, but then they end up in the digital collection of photos that I will look back on every once in a while, but not that often. Pictures from my wedding day are going to be the most important ones of my life. They will be framed, hung in prominent places, put into albums, and looked at frequently. So why wouldn’t I want my dog in those pictures?

As much as I pretend he is immortal, the fact is that in a decade, he’s not going to be with me anymore. I get overwhelmed and teary-eyed just thinking about the day he’s going to leave me. So in a decade or so, when I’m looking at my wedding photos, I don’t want my dog to be in those pictures because I don’t want my heart to break every time I look back on the happiest day of my life.

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Our happy family!

 

4) I love my dog more than my fiancé.

Yes, it’s a joke, but it’s kind of true. I’ve known my dog longer than I’ve known my fiancé. I’ve lived with my dog longer than I’ve lived with my fiancé. I’ve shared a bed with my dog longer than I’ve shared a bed with my fiancé. I’ve taken more vacations with my dog than with my fiancé. And my dog definitely greets me with more enthusiasm when I get home.

My wedding day needs to be about me and my fiancé, NOT about me, my fiancé, and my dog. Most days I’ll give my dog more attention and affection than I give my man, but on our wedding day he deserves to be the center of my attention (even if it’s only for the one day). I don’t want the love I have for my dog to overshadow the love I have for my husband.

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My two loves!

 

…As soon as we come back from the honeymoon, though, the dog goes back to number 1!

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This was Boston sitting under my desk as I wrote this post (with his Superman toy)

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Perfect Together: Behind the Scenes

I’ve found that there are two types of people on social media; those who try to present their lives as better than they are, and people who try to present their lives as worse than they are. I think most people fall into the first category (although I may feel that way because I block people who fall into the second category). The point is that although I try not to be obnoxious about it, I certainly do fall into the first category. Life is going great for me right now, and I present it as such on social media, but it’s certainly not perfect. Take an interaction I had with my fiancé this afternoon:

We’ve been living together for several months now, but I still haven’t fully moved in because a friend is renting my house so there wasn’t a big rush for me to move my crap out. Last weekend we finally rented a truck and brought the furniture down. This weekend he stayed home and worked on clearing room in the common areas for my stuff while I went up to my old house to clean up and clear out the “little things” (odds and ends that hadn’t been boxed up yet, but filled up my car two times over).

Out entire house has been overrun with random boxes, bins, and bags of my stuff. There is literally no place to sit except for an office chair in my room and an office chair in his room, which means we have no place to just hang out together. This is what happens when you try and combine two fully furnished houses in to one. Needless to say, getting my room in order is a priority for me, and I’ve been a little stressed out about it.

So The Man, sees me being stressed out and, being the sweet guy that he is, thinks, “She’s super stressed out. I’ll help her by going to the grocery store, which is a chore I know she’s not particularly fond of.” So what he meant to say was, “I will go to the grocery store. Is there anything you need?”

But that’s not what he said. Instead he said, “Why don’t you sit down and make a list and then I’ll go to the grocery store?”

And this is how my sleep-deprived, exhausted, malnourished brain reacted: “Are you freaking kidding me?! He expects me to sit down and plan our meals for the week and make a shopping list? Does he realize how much effort goes in to that? I have spent the past two days loading and unloading my car and running up and down the stairs probably 100 times! There is crap all over our whole house that I have to get to fit in a small guest room while still making it look like a frickin Pinterest masterpiece, and he wants me to think about what food we’ll need this week?! When am I going to have time to cook? He’s going to have to do all the cooking this week because I’ll be spending it cleaning, and if he’s doing all the cooking then why doesn’t he make the list? I wonder what would happen if I hurled this screwdriver at his skull…”

So I snapped at him. I didn’t say everything that had gone through my head in that split-second, but I wasn’t particularly pleasant. Luckily he knows that I tend to be irrational when I’m stressed, and I am self-aware enough to know that as well, so I apologized pretty quickly. A few minutes later when he said he could get ingredients to make ice cream using the ice cream maker his mother got me for my birthday (Yes, I enjoy making ice cream, but you do know how much work goes into making it? It takes like half an hour to make the batter and then it has to chill for a couple hours, not to mention the amount of dishes that are used, and our kitchen is a mess right now so where am I going to do the prep work?  I’ve got lesson plans to write, an IEP to revise and the house looks like a tornado swept through!) I reacted slightly more rationally and told him that just buying ready-made ice cream would be better.

He came back with S’mores ice cream and a bag of my favorite sweet potato chips (which I have eaten the whole thing of while typing this). So in 140 characters on Twitter I might say “My guy got me S’mores ice cream and sweet potato chips! #bestfianceever!”, but just know that we’re still learning to live with each other, and it’s not perfect all the time. But we’re figuring it out!

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What makes it on social media…

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What is really going on.

Did I get my fiance a sexist present?

When I first started dating The Man, I have to admit that I was a little off put when I went to his house and it seemed like everywhere I turned there was another “hot girl” in the form of scantily clad superheroines. I found the most offense with the DC Bombshell collection he had, not because those girls were the most provocative but because he had spent considerable amount of money on them; it was literal objectification of women.

So for Christmas this year I bought him the Catwoman Bombshell* to add to his collection.

Why on earth would I buy him one of these statues when a year ago I viewed them as instruments of misogyny?

1) I’m more secure in our relationship.

I fight against the idea that women have to fit a certain mold to be socially accepted as beautiful because it’s the right thing to do. I also fight against it because I am insecure that as an overweight woman, I do not fit that mold, and even if/when I lose the weight, I will still never look like these bombshells…no one will. So when I first saw them, my immediate thought was, “Is this what he wants me to look like? He knows that’s never going to happen. Is this his ideal woman?”

A year later, we are engaged and have an awesome and secure relationship. I know he loves me for who I am and my appearance is part of that.

2) He thinks I look like that.

Ok, not entirely (I mean, his vision is bad but it’s not THAT bad), but sometimes he tells me that a statue, picture, or character reminds him of me. I physically do not look like these women, AT ALL, and yet he still finds me attractive. And attractiveness and sexiness isn’t all about appearance. One thing that all these statues exhibit is a confidence in these characters, and confidence is always sexy regardless of physical appearance.

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Are you seeing double?

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I mean we’re practically twins!

3) He admires them.

These statues aren’t designed for men to ogle and jerk-off to; there’s plenty of free stuff on the internet for that. If you spend the kind of money to buy one of these figures, it’s because you genuinely appreciate the art that goes in to the crafting of the characters and the crafting of the statues themselves. The Man doesn’t say, “Look at the hot girls I’ve collected.” Instead he points out the details and explains why he loves the characters.

4) It makes him happy.

That’s what giving is about; making people happy!

Is sexism still an important issue especially in regards to comics? YES! Women are made into secondary characters and sexualized way more than men, and we need to continue to fight for respect and equality, but if I can admire Loki for his charisma and cunning (and looks), then he should be able to admire Catwoman for the same reason.

*This link is to Amazon, but I purchased the statue at our favorite local comic shop.  Support small businesses!

Birthday/Star Wars Recap

Whew!

It has been a whirlwind of a week. Went to see the new Star Wars movie, and I enjoyed it! I had a few issues (mostly the same thing everybody else has said; it might be a bit heavy handed with how much it draws from the original) but overall it was really good!

Then Saturday was my [last of my 20s] birthday! The man got me Disney Infinity with Ahsoka! Anakin was also in the set and he got me Luke and Leia, but AHSOKA IS MY FAVORITE! And my dad got me an RC car since I complained about not getting one in my last post, but he didn’t just get me ANY RC car; he got me Luke’s landspeeder! I also got several Funkos, some Star Wars Covergirl Makeup, a beautiful bracelet, and some wine! I’m really lucky to have an awesome group of friends and loving family!

Ok, enough with the exclamation marks. I’m realizing that the above paragraph makes me seem rather materialistic, and I’m not going to fight that accusation because the fact is that I do have more things than most people probably do, but I honestly wasn’t expecting to be showered with a lot of things for my birthday. All I really wanted was to get to spend quality time with my friends and family, and I got that, too! (Sorry there was another exclamation).

So the man and I spent most of my birthday day getting ready for our Star Wars themed party. When I throw a party, I tend to pick a theme and then come up with a punny menu for it. I read somewhere that you should stop throwing themed parties once you turn 30, so I’ve got one more year! I also found another blog devoted to throwing Star Wars parties, which was awesome (and I used the soda labels). Check them out at Maythefourthbewithyoupartyblog.com

So here was our menu:

The Cantina

  • Lightstirrers (glow sticks as stirrers)
  • Yoda Soda
  • Darth Pop
  • Ahsoda Tano
  • Blue Milk (white Russian with blue food coloring)
  • Han Solo Cups

Darth Meal

  • Bantha Meat (pulled pork)
  • Boba Fettucini
  • Hoth Dogs wrapped in Coruscant Rolls (pigs in a blanket)

Admiral Snackbar

  • Dark Side and Light Side chips (in awesome bowls that we bought at our local comic shop)
  • Chewwie Bars
  • Qui-Gon Gingerbread Cookies
  • Oatmeal Reysin Cookies
  • Han Solo in Carbonite Chocolates
  • Death Star Cake
  • BB-8 and Tie Fighter Cake Balls

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The Yoda Soda and Darth Pop labels are available here.

And my favorite item was the salsa. I couldn’t come up with any puns for it so I wrote “Someone left the 7 Leia Dip on Alderaan…oops! Please enjoy this salsa instead”. It was a lot of fun, and I made cake balls for the first time, which was more successful than I thought it was going to be (and I have some ideas for how to make it better the next time).

The next day, on Sunday, my parents took me out to my favorite seafood buffet! My fiancé and sister, who both dislike seafood, weren’t there so I got to have a date with my parents. Lately I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with my parents without everyone else around, so it was kind of nice to get that time with just the three of us.

We celebrated my birthday one last time on Monday when we went to a tasting with our caterer for the wedding. The food was amazing! Although I’m nowhere near ready, July 1st can’t get here soon enough!

I realize I didn’t really air any grievances, but Happy Festivus everyone!